Saviour
by Fake Shemp
Summary: Title - Saviour Rating - T Fandom - Rizzoli & Isles Pairing Jane/Maura Disclaimer - I do not own a thing, just playing in the sandbox. A/N - This is set post season 1 finale... that is all.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Mauras POV

I watched as she slept, my savior who had shot herself to save us. Me. Why had it taken all this to make me see what all those glances meant, all those nights I stayed awake thinking about her. Those nights we spent together in the same bed, as I would lie on my side watching her sleep. How did I not know I was in love with her all along. Sure we'd tossed the words around "I love you" but there is a difference.

I wanted her to wake, I was so desperate to tell her, practically giddy. I stroked my fingers over her hand, leaning over to kiss her forehead. I stroked her cheek picturing her waking up, her eyes would be bright with love for me, and she'd take my hand and kiss the finger tips. She'd bring my head down to her and kiss me softly.

I moved and placed a kiss on her cheek, I wanted there to be heat, warmth but she was cold. I placed my forehead down into her cheek, begging her to wake up.

"Maur..." Her hand came up slowly out of my grasp and into my hair. I beamed a smile, as I kissed her cheek. "You missed."

"Missed? I do not-"

"Missed." Jane's voice cracked. Her eyes opened slowly. "Maura haven't you been home." She looked me up and down, "You still look... damn fine," She sighed, clearly hard for her to focus on anything. "Have you been here the whole..." You are my home, I thought, but said nothing, instead kissing her forehead again. "I'm your what?"

"My home..." I mumbled, this time aware. I stepped back, had the words slipped out and I had not realized. She reached out with what little strength she had for my hand.

"Maur... Please..." I backed away, and moved to leave the room. "Maura." Her voice broke. "Maura I can't come after you." She was right and I stopped halfway out the hospital room door. I returned slowly. "Maura you missed..." I looked at her confused. Her eyes still hazy. "Come here Maur..." She reached up as far as she could and brought me down to her, kissing me softly. I whimpered into her mouth, my smile breaking the kiss. I giggled. "Thanks Maura just laugh at me."

"No... I am not... I've just wanted this for so long and I am so happy right-" I woke with a jerk, I had fallen asleep in the chair by Jane's bed. I looked across at her silently sleeping as I touched my fingers to my lips wishing to be back asleep, to be back with Jane awake, safe and kissing me.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Mauras POV

"I will stay." I stressed.

"Oh Maur.., you not sick of the sight of me yet?"

I smiled in response, tight lipped, because opening my mouth may spill the words I tried so hard to keep quiet.

"Well I'm not going to be good company," She groaned, as she tried to look over the couch at me whilst I made myself busy with her bags and making beverages for the two of us. "Will you stop fussing about over there..." She breathed out heavily and slumped back on the couch.

The sound she made when she slumped back down into the couch reminded me of the times we had sat together, laid down together on that couch and I had wanted more, I had wanted to make her moan on the couch.

I brought her over the herbal tea I had made, to her scrunched nose and bickering.

"Jane, you can hardly have a beer with the meds you are on." She bickered some more at me, with a not very well hidden smile. "Just drink it."

"Ok ok if you stop standing there like a spare part, and take a seat..." I bit the corner of my lip and took a tentative seat at the edge of her couch. She groaned as she tried to move her legs for me.

"Jane, please... It is okay, I would rather you were more comfortable-"

"I'd be more comfortable if you'd sit back and make yourself comfortable."

"I was going to take you to bed."

"Whoa Maur," She chuckled. "no funny business." I blushed, turned my face away from her. "I can't do that in my condition."

"Jane, I-I did not-"

"I'm just fucking with ya Maur..." I slowly turned back to her and her eyes when they met with mine darted away, she awkwardly picked up the remote and flicked on her television.

I stood up, straightening my skirt.

"I am just going to-"

"-Yeah yeah..." I heard her clicking fast over the buttons on the remote.

"Umm yeah..." I moved away and back into the kitchen. I stood, with nothing to do except not be next to Jane.

When she had woken in the hospital I had been at the vending machine getting a black coffee for her mother. When I had returned to her room she was awake, sitting up and talking to her Angela. Her hand in Angela's and I scolded myself for wishing it was my hand hers was in.

Her eyes sparkled when they met mine, and I had stood at the foot of her bed, unable to breathe. It was not until Angela beckoned me over that I let out air.

She had asked if we wanted to be left alone, I waved off her very tempting proposition and had taken a seat opposite her. I had sat there, hands crossed in my lap unable to say much of anything, yet to stare up at Jane and be so thankfull in my heart that she was awake, safe, and here with me, with us.

Angela had said her loving goodbyes, with hugs and kisses, whilst I had remained with my hands clasped together with my bag in them. My eyes trying not to stare at her, my lips in a forced small smile as we left.

We sat in my car, ready to drive home when she broke into my thoughts talking about how she had left her bag in Jane's room, and before I got a few words out, she was thanking me for going to get it, confused I left her sitting in my car and headed back inside.

"Sorry to intrude but your-"

"Never." Her voice cracked as she awkwardly shifted her head to face me.

"Never? I-Your mother said she left her bag here and-"

"-You never intrude Maura."

"Oh thank you for saying that but I must really get the bag for your-"

"-She said you've been here every day." And then she smiled at me, her eyes heavy.

"I... yes." She reached for my hand, taking it weakly in her own. I stared down at it.

"Maur?" I looked up, her eyes fought to stay open. I placed my other hand on top of hers. She moaned, shifting her head more to face me. "Thanks."

"Shhh, Jane, you know I will always be here."

"No you won't." Her voice cracked and she gave a small cough. Her eyes looked up into mine which I felt burning at her words. "Cause you have to go give my ma her bag... and then go home." She sighed, her chest heaving as she tried to draw in air.

"Oh." She smiled and turned her head back over to a clearly more comfortable position for her.

"Wish you could stay..." She breathed the words out slowly just above a whisper.

"Me too." I bit my lip as to not let out a whimper, but I felt a tear slide down my cheek, and willed myself not to sniff. She would know then that I was crying, always my tell whenever we watched a movie together, as soon as I would give a little sniff, she would play punch my in the arm and giggle that I was crying.

I gulped and tried to steady my breathing as I slid my hands from hers, mouthing the words 'I love you' biting my top lip as to not repeat them with volume. I wanted to lean in and kiss her cheek, and stroke her hair but I instead leant down, picked up Angela's bag and left.

"Maybe I should go..." I do not know what I was hoping for off her, it was hardly likely that she would jump up from the couch and stop me leaving by declaring that she's as much in love with me as she knows I am with her, and then pins me between her and the kitchen counter and traces her mouth, lips, tongue down my body until I beg for her to be knuckle deep in me, and she would tell me she would, if only I would stay. Forever.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Janes POV

"I will stay."

"Oh Maur.., you not sick of the sight of me yet?" I wanted her to stay so badly, I wanted her to snuggle with me in my bed and make every shitty thing in the world right, I wanted her to not know this. Ever. "Well I'm not going to be good company," I groaned, as I tried to look over the couch at her, hoping she wouldn't notice my eyes on her legs, I licked my lips, as my eyes settled on her ass. Fuck what was I doing, I can't do this anymore, I can't be wanting to bite my best friends ass, this is so fucked up. "Will you stop fussing about over there..." I slumped back on the couch, hands over my eyes, the only way I could think to stop myself looking at her, wanting her. Why did she have to bring me home from the hospital? Why was she always there for me?

She brought me over some stinky tea, I made a face at the smell, about to ask for a beer.

"Jane, you can hardly have a beer with the meds you are on."

"Argh Maur... beer goes with everything." I moaned at her, but inside I was just so fucking happy she was there, and that she couldn't read all my thoughts, I hoped.

"Just drink it."

"Ok ok if you stop standing there like a spare part, and take a seat..." Fuck why am I asking her to come closer to me, why are my legs moving to accomodate her on the couch. Why does this feel so fucking damn right?

"Jane, please... It is okay, I would rather you were more comfortable-"

"I'd be more comfortable if you'd sit back and make yourself comfortable." I leant back and closed my eyes, wishing for the words to return to my mouth, I was exposing too much.

"I was going to take you to bed."

"Whoa Maur,no funny business." I blushed, rolling my head back on the couch, my eyes closed and hands back over them. "I can't do that in my condition." A laugh escaped my lips, a fucking nervous laugh just came out of me. Fuck! I wanted to fuck her on the couch, make her moan, groan, cum. Hard. I kept my arms over my eyes, as her scent made me dizzy, dancing images behind my eyelids of her in my arms, kissing me, my neck, taking my breast in in her fucking perfect mouth and suck on my-

"Jane, I-I did not-" She broke into my thoughts, I looked over at her. She was sitting like a robot, like she didn't belong here with me anymore. What. The. Fuck? We always hung out together, so natural, so at ease... Fuck! Was I making her like this? Did she somehow know, did she know what had been going through my mind?

"I'm just fucking with ya Maur..." She slowly turned back to me and I couldn't hold her gaze for fear she'd see into my mind and see my thoughts, see my needs, my wants, how much I wanted her, my love.

I reached out for a distraction, and found the television remote.

She stood up. Fuck it worked, it didn't work and she knows, how could she? Does she know?

"I am just going to-"

"-Yeah yeah..." I flicked around on the television taking no notice of the images in front of me.

"Umm yeah..." I heard her moving about behind me, I closed my eyes and let the light from the screen flicker over me.

I opened my eyes to see my Ma at my bedside, I looked to the other side of the bed and found it vacant, I smiled weakly at my Ma, trying to hide my disappointment that Maura wasn't sitting there.

My mind was on Maura, I could almost still smell her from my dreams, feel her all around me and now I lay there in this sterile room, feeling empty, alone, and guilty that I felt like that with my mother at my bedside.

She kissed my head and hugged me gently, cooing over me as only she could, I let her and enjoyed it but could not summon the strength to lift my arms and hug her back. I think simply letting her hug me was enough.

She sat back down, her hands on mine, smiling with tears in her eyes.

"Ma..."

"She's just at the vending machine." She leant in and kissed me again. I feigned a look of confusion. "She's been here every day." She sat back down and I avoided her eyes, nestling my head down into my pillow. "Ah come on now Jane, you could have died. Now isn't the time to be an asshole." I turned my head, shocked at her words. I pulled myself up in bed.

"Ma... I..."

"Don't Jane, you just be thankful you're alive and tell her... Jane...?" She followed my eyes to find Maura entering the room, and then I watched as Maura stood at the foot of my bed.

I don't think I'd been happier to see her than I was right there, her eyes searched mine and then darted away as she fiddled with the cup of coffee she held.

"Come sit down Maura... give me my coffee at least." Maura obliged awkwardly giving my mother her coffee. "Do you two want to be left alone?"

"Ma!" I croaked at her as I think I saw Maura blush and take a seat.

"What? Jane you almost died, maybe you have something to-"

"Ma! I... God!"

"Oh I-I there is... you certainly cannot leave." Maura shifted in her seat, placing her hands in her lap, so fucking damn proper over her crossed legs. I felt her eyes on me but I couldn't meet hers, not with my ma being right there, it was all so awkward.

I wanted to be alone with Maura, and tell her... tell her... fuck no I had nothing to tell her.

I was so scared from my ma's words, what did she mean did we want to be alone? Why was the first thing she practically said about Maura? Fuck I thought I had hidden my feelings, I had been lying to myself for long enough that I had believed it... sometimes.

"I think we better go, let you rest Janie." She broke into my thoughts, and I realized I had been staring at Maura's legs. I bit my lip and wearily smiled, cringing inside.

She hugged and kissed me, and then they left. I hadn't said two words to Maura, didn't even really say goodbye.

I didn't have the words I wanted to say, cause I was so confused over what I wanted to say. When I first woke I wanted nothing but to see Maura, confused over the dream I had just came out of, there was no plot to the dream just her. The feeling of her all around me, and I wanted to be back there. No, fuck I wanted that to be real. I wanted my pain to go away and I wanted her there in bed with me. Fuck she's my best friend, I can't want that. I do. I wanted her legs entwined with mine, her ass in my hands, that fucking perfect ass. Her hair in my hands, her scent filling my head, fuck I love how she makes my head swim, fuck no I hate it. I hate how confused I get, how much everything about her makes me want her. I can't want her. I can't think about these things any longer. I could have asked my mother to leave and I could have told Maura but the words choked me.

Some nights alone in my apartment, feeling horny, needing to release tension, my hands wandering down my own body and in my mind they would be hers. I'd stop. Scared and confused at where my mind had just gone, but left so horny that my hands would soon wander again until I was panting, my fingers working furiously at my centre and I let my mind go, I'd picture her on top of me, her ass grinding into my hips, mine rising to meet hers. I picture her underneath me, as I hold onto her with her legs wrapped around me, and I'd dip into myself so wet, her fingers mine, my pussy hers and I'd find myself in her, rocking straining to find her release, my release, her nipples hard against my own, in my mouth, my tongue, lips against hers, against her breast, biting that fine ass and I'd whimper her name as I'd cum, confused and soon asleep only to wake ashamed, sad that I had thought about her whilst doing that, scared that she would know the next day when our eyes would meet over a dead body.

"Sorry to intrude but your-"

"Never." It hurt for me to speak, afraid she would know what was going through my mind but I was just so happy that she was back.

"Never? I-Your mother said she left her bag here and-"

"-You never intrude Maura." The words fell from my lips, as I looked up searching her eyes, but she wouldn't meet mine.

"Oh thank you for saying that but I must really get the bag for your-"

"-She said you've been here every day." I smiled at her, hard to focus with the pain I was feeling. I just wanted a smile in return, to see that dimpled heart melting smile.

"I... yes." I reached out for her hand, not realizing I was doing it until her perfect fingers were weakly in my grasp.

"Maur?" She placed her other hand on top of mine. I moaned, shifting my head more to face her. It hurt, every inch of me hurt inside and out. "Thanks."

"Shhh, Jane, you know I will always be here."

"No you won't... 'Cause you have to go give my ma her bag... and then go home." I sighed, it was hard to speak so much. I wanted her to stay, the pain to go and for us to be anywhere but there, in the cold white room. Maura was all reds and pinks and purples and sensuality to me, her perfume drifted down to me, never overpowering, just perfect as I thought she was. Fuck I could never let her know how much I... how much I loved? her. I guess thats why I bicker, why I take the biscuit with her, poke fun cause if she knew the truth... I'd die. If she knew the thoughts I had about her she'd never speak to me again, my feelings could ruin everything. I had to go on lying to myself, maybe one day it would become truth... and I'd not hurt so much. The physical pain I was in paled in comparison to the pain I felt not being with her.

"Oh." I turned away, thinking she could read my thoughts.

"Wish you could stay..."

"Me too." I couldn't let myself look at Maura, I was so scared at what she'd see in my eyes.

She slid her hands from mine and I bit my lip to keep my emotions inside, to keep the words "I love you" inside, to keep from asking her to stay and having to tell her why. I wanted to lean up and kiss her, feel her lips soft against my own. I wanted my tongue to move in her mouth and all the unspoken words be known by the movement of my tongue against hers, but she picked up my mothers bag and left.

"Maybe I should go..." Fuck, she knew and was running from me, I didn't want her to go. I did. If she went then I could try and gather my head together. I would still think of her, I knew this from the past, out of sight did not mean out of mind. I would wake in the morning and my first thought would be of her, I would go to sleep on nights without her there and she would be my last thoughts as I drifted off. I would play out silly fantasizes in my mind about how our lives could be only if? One stupid scenario that would never happen after another. If we had met under different circumstances, if we had met earlier in life... if? If? Fucking if?

I wanted to reach out and take her hand and bring her down on me on the couch and... and? And what? Fuck I had to let her leave, and then she had. She was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N - Set post 3.10

Chapter 4

Mauras POV

"Jane, why do we keep pretending?"

She does not even look across at me, just makes an adorable confused noise and continues sipping on a beer. My eyes fixate on her lips.

"Jane." Not a question. A statement.

"Huh what now?" Now she looks at me, a slight smile as my eyes stay on her lips for far too long then dart away.

I move close on the couch, reach out, as both of us had many times before.

Lightly my hand rests on her curled up leg. Always at the precipice but never venturing further, never willing to fall, and when we do we do not speak of it, we soon go back to 'just friends' and try to occupy ourselves with some random guy... But once you almost get killed by the majority of them I think the universe has been telling us something.

"Jane." Our eyes lock, as many times before but this time I want her to know the real reason behind all these looks. "I am tired-"

"Me too Maur." Her smile comes through her eyes, she reaches out, placing the beer on the table, her hand returns and rests on my arm, she strokes lightly.

"... of pretending." She cocks her head like a confused puppy. I let my hand travel further up than I had let it before. Her own hand stilled, her fingers burning into my skin. I think I feel her squeeze my arm ever so slightly.

"Jane..." I lick my lips.

"What are you saying Maura?"

I smile in response, I want to put her at ease, as my stomach drops out and I am having trouble breathing. I cannot lie. I have played scenarios with Jane through my mind before, sometimes they end extremely well and others... well its like my life has ended. What did I have to lose after tonight? She had saved me from my latest distraction, my latest lie who, surprise, had turned out to be a serial killer, a tall, dark, dimpled, killer cheek boned serial killer. Yes, yes I am aware he looked like the male version of Jane. And yes I chose him for that reason. So yes, I was blaming being almost killed tonight on why I was about to face this... attraction we had ignored for so long.

I shift in my seat closer, I hear her gulp. Her hand moves to her hair. I want it to be my hand, moving through that big mess of curls.

She keeps playing with her hair. Her eyes go down to where my hand is, far up on her thigh.

"Jane, I know you feel-"

She's suddenly standing, then shes gone into the kitchen.

I clench my jaw determined, as I try to hold back negative emotions. I stand and slowly follow her, listening for any clues as to what she is feeling.

"Jane I know you feel the same way."

"Pizza you want pizza... I can call in.

"Jane?"

"Or I could pop out and score us some Thai? What do you want? Chinese?"

I stand behind her as she flutters around the kitchen. She opens and closes draws and cupboards clearly in a panic. I have done this to her. This is playing out like one of my worst scenarios.

"I'll go pick up some Chinese." With that she pasts me and was at the door, she stuffs her feet into her boots.

I stand helplessly, willing myself to go to her and then without realizing I am there, beside her, I place my hand on top of hers on the doorknob.

"Do not run from me. From us."

"Get your hand..." her voice broke, she gulps loudly, regaining her composure "Get your hand off me."

I stagger back as she slithers through the door.

Do I go after her?

Give her time? I tell myself, she needs time.

All we've had is time, to lie to ourselves, to each other, if she has anymore she could be gone for good. Before I even know it, I'm standing outside barefoot holding onto her wrist, holding her back, I pull her to me, her body crashes into mine as I stay my hold on her hand.

"Jane..." I place my other hand firmly in her hair and kiss her hard. Resistance is all I feel but I continue. I know she feels the same way. She whimpers, and I swallow her sound.

My stomach tingles and I feel her tongue, she kisses back as hard as she fought before. Her body tense, she pushes me back into the side of the house, her free hand snakes around my waist going lower and lower until she wraps one of my legs around her.

I let her other hand go and it joins my other in her hair, freeing her to lift my other leg around her, and she carries me back inside the house, I hear the door shut loudly with a bang and I'm suddenly underneath her on the couch.

Her shirt disappears, and she's above me in that hot tank top as we continue to kiss like our lives depend on it. I gasp for air as my fingers go to her belt, but she tosses it off her and I hear her badge, her gun thud on the floor. Her hands return to me, in my hair, down my torso and then my thighs feel cool air as she pushes my dress up.

I snake one of my hands up under her tank top, her flesh burning under my touch. I pull at her zipper with my other hand, the sound makes my toes curl as our hips bring us closer together. Our lips are torn apart, I bury my face into her neck, her hair. The smell of Jane fills my head, makes it swim, light. I have fantasized about being this close that all my senses are overloaded with her.

"Is this real enough for you?" Her usual husky voice, if possible even more sexy than usual. I move my lips against her neck to answer and then she's inside me. We move as one, I match her rhythm with my hips and it's sad to think we had been scared, waiting for so long when we can feel this good together.

I shudder under her, as I cum almost instantly, and then she is off me. She sits up with her hands rummaging through her hair.

"Fuck." She says to herself. "Sorry M... fuck!" Was she unable to say my name? I move my dress back down and sit up next to her, I reach out to touch her hair but she stands up away from me. "Fuck!"

"Jane..." I look up at her back, I want her to turn around and look at me with the dark loving eyes I am used to, but I want the truth of those looks to be clear, instead of the lies we told ourselves.

"Don't."

"Jane-"

"Don't say my name!"

"Why? Jane... Why can you not hear me sa-"

"It makes me wet! Ok!? Fuck... every fucking time it makes me want to fuck you and I can't want to fuck my... the best friend I've ever... you can't make me wet and want you like that. I can't be in love-" I stood behind her, hugging her from behind, my face in her hair and kissing her neck stopping her rant. "Fuck I can't but I do, ok... Maura... I hate this." She turns in my arms, our eyes now inches away, and in them I see the truth I was looking for. "Maura... do you have any idea how difficult it was for me to see you with him? Any idea how much of a total dick I felt when," She bites her lip, and I want to kiss her. "how much of a dick I felt for feeling happy when I figured out he was a killer. I mean sure, there was fear for your life..." I let out a giggle.

"Thank you for that concern." I kiss her lightly, once, twice, until her tongue is dancing with mine and our breathing is one and I go light headed without oxygen. "Jane..." I draw out her name on purpose and she growls.

"Maura, I... It was Hoyt all over again." I look at her puzzled. "How utterly scared I was for you, but I knew... I knew I could save you but there was... what if? I couldn't let my mind go there, I can't imagine my life without you."

"Oh you are not a dick." I smile at her, kiss her dimples.

"Being happy that he is a killer and that I can storm in and save the day... that I can save you... being happy over that makes me a dick."

"It makes me happy too."

"Really?"

"If it made you realize that you are in love with me... then yes. Really." I smile and I see her melt, I love having that effect on her and for her to be able to show me how horny it makes her. "Jane." I lick my lips, and repeat her name now knowing how wet it makes her, and she kisses me, her tongue licks inside the top of my mouth, and it makes my knees weak. "Ohhh Jane." I breathe out. "Tell me more about what me saying 'Jane' does to you..." I kiss her neck, nibble and lick the salty taste built up there from before, when she was deep inside me. I feel her hands go down in front of her, between us and as I kiss her neck I hear material and she whimpers. "Jane..."

Her hand cradled my face, and I move so her thumb brushes my lips and I smell her on her fingers, and I take one in my mouth, savouring her on my tongue.

"Oh Jane..."

"Oh fuck, I need you to..."

"Jane I need to taste you."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Janes POV

"Jane, why do we keep pretending?"

Fuck. Just drink the beer, she'll not force the subject, no she will. She always does and I get around it somehow. The somehow is usually the phone of crime. I'm not saying I'm happy someone is dead its just a good distraction from her, and her probing, her fucking questions.

"Jane." Yep she's not gonna let it go, and I'm not, no fucking way, I'm not, I don't feel that way. Fuck. I do.

"Huh what now?" I look at her and can't help but smile. I've had a few beers and I feel like I gotta hold myself back, I am holding myself back. I could, I should, I wonder what would happen if I just... fuck Jane no. Stop thinking about kissing her. I stare ahead as I feel her, hear her moving closer. Oh fuck I can feel myself getting wet. What the fuck? I clench my pussy as her hand rests on my leg. I tense up, so fucking stiff. I know, I just fucking know if I move right now I'll be on top of her in a flash with my tongue in her mouth. I take another sip of beer, it hurts to swallow. The bubbles fill my mouth, dance over my tongue and I picture her tongue in my mouth. Fuck.

"Jane." I glance at her sideways, frightened to move my head, scared to move too much, fearing what my body will do with a few beers in it. Our eyes lock for what seems far too long, I feel uncomfortable but the look we share is not. It's so fucking right. "I am tired-"

"Me too Maur." I put my beer on the table in front of the couch, and my hand accidentally rests back on her on my leg when I lean back into the couch. I can't help it, my hand strokes the top of hers, barely but I feel it, and I think she notices too. My fingers tingle.

"... of pretending." I fake my reaction, she can't lie but I can. I pretend to look confused, I guess I am, have been for so long. My hand stops moving when I feel her hand moving, closer, further, and I squeeze her arm a little. I squeeze her arm to stop myself leaning in and kissing her. "Jane..." She licks her lips and in my mind I see my tongue licking across her top lip before slipping into her mouth, and I whimper. Fuck I hope she didn't notice.

"What are you saying Maura?" I know, I damn well know what she's getting at. I've played out conversations a million times, different scenarios but to be faced with it is so... fucking hard. I gulp in air when I feel her shift closer again. I move my hand off her and into my hair, this is so fucking stressful. I can feel her eyes on me, as my own watches her hand on my thigh. I picture her smiling face, I picture her fingers rubbing my pussy, I picture kissing her.

"Jane, I know you feel-" I get up, if I didn't move off the couch, she'd be under me on the couch. I walk away from her, us, into the kitchen. My body has gone into automatic, I stand in the kitchen, randomly looking in her refrigerator, her cupboards. I open a draw, where normal people would keep takeaway menus, but she's not normal. She's Maura. She's just perfectly her and I fucking love it. Fuck. I love her, no, that about her, no, I like that about her. Like. Love. "Jane I know you feel the same way."

"Pizza you want pizza... I can call in." If you had any menus. No, that's great no menus means I have to go out for food, I can leave and... then I'll have to come back and face this, but this conversation will go away in the time I leave, get food and come back. Right? Yeah fuck it will.

"Jane?" I hear her move off the couch, her feet on her floor, fuck now I'm thinking about her feet, and her legs, fuck. Get. Out. Jane.

"Or I could pop out and score us some Thai? What do you want? Chinese? I'll go pick up some Chinese." I walk past her, fast and I'm at the door. Fuck. Yes I escaped. So why do I want to go straight back to her? I feel adrenaline literally pumping through my legs. My arms are shaking and I yet I can't move.

"Do not run from me. From us." I turn at the sound of her voice, and she's just standing there, bare footed. Her eyes look big, wide, innocent. Her face so determined, I'd seen that look before, I'd fallen for that look before. And consequently told myself that getting into a relationship with a co-worker could only end badly. A relationship? Fuck, who am I kidding, this one here, this gorgeous fucking woman right in front of me likes to fuck to keep healthy. Is that all I am? She's having a slow day with the guys and well we're friends, why not be fuck buddies? Is that what she thinks? I don't want that, and yeah I tried to consider it in the past, but it's all or nothing. I'm all or nothing. I need to get away. She places her hand on me.

"Get your hand...Get your hand off me." I try to sound strong, I am anything but... and it works, fuck no it works as her hand moves away. I open the door and I'm outside, the air chokes me. It should be freeing, but it's not. I need to go back inside, I want to be out here, away, don't I? I stand still, my legs still shaking with a need to run, but then I feel her hand on my wrist and I turn, she pulls at me, as she's been pulling on my heart all this time.

"Jane..." Her other hand reaches up and is tangled in my hair, she pulls me. Pulls me down and kisses me. She. Is. Kissing. Me. I whimper, I don't kiss back because it's taking my mind so fucking long to catch up to the fact that Maura fucking Isles is kissing me. And it feels... I whimper... so fucking good. My mind is caught up and I begin to kiss her back, she's still kissing me, I'm kissing her and just wow. I open my mouth to let her tongue in, and then mine is in her mouth. This is happening. It's actually... I push her back into the wall of the house. My hands are on her body, she's letting me, I'm letting me touch, and feel her. She feels so... so... right. Our bodies fit together, I pull one of her legs up around me, and it sits perfectly on me, bringing her body closer. Not close enough.

She lets my other wrist go, and I press myself into her, hard against the wall, bringing her other leg up around me. Fuck. I can almost feel the heat coming from her, I wonder if she can feel how hot I am for her. She has her hands buried in my hair, clinging onto me as we kiss, and kiss, and kiss. I'm gasping for breath but I don't ever wanna stop kissing her as I carry her back inside the house, kick the door shut, it slams loudly and I slam her down onto the couch.

I rip my shirt off me, and settle, push myself between her open legs. Fuck. The times I've thought about this and I'm, we're... we are actually... she reaches for my belt. Fuck her perfect hands are reaching at my belt, and I feel my pussy throb. I quickly get rid of my gun, badge, belt, but I want her to, I've always imagined her to be the one to pull down my zipper. There's something so fucking sexy about it, I just need her to. My hands are all over her, my hands... are all over her. I go over it in my mind, like I'm watching me with my hands all over her, but I'm not watching, I'm doing. I'm fucking pushing up her dress, her thighs more breathtaking and perfect than I have ever imagined, and I've spent some time imagining.

She moves her hands on me, up under my top and I feel myself shiver, twitch under her touch. I close my eyes and kiss her deeply, then her hands are gone and I hear it, the pull, I hear her pull down the zipper of my trousers and I could just shudder and cum right now.

I lean down into her, her legs pull me closer, I tear my lips away from her to look down at her fingers on my zipper. I needed to see it for myself, mentally take a photo. I move, push in closer kissing her face, she nuzzles into me, buries her face in my neck. I feel her breath deeper, breathing me in, her lips on my neck.

"Is this real enough for you?" Is all I can barely get out, a whisper, as I push my hand runs up her thigh, she's hot. I'm breathing fast, I feel her lips moving, no audible words from her, against my neck. I push her panties aside and my fingers are... I am, fuck she's so wet, I brush over her folds, I'm rubbing her clit. Me. Jane. My mind can't even process this. And then I'm inside her, I've pushed inside her, so wet and tight and fuck, I push in and in and in and in her, over and over, I don't want this to end. Fuck what am I doing? How do I go back from this, its not gonna turn into some relationship just because we're fucking, we're fucking. Fucking hell.

She shudders under me and I take my hand away, and try to ignore how wet I am. I sit up, running my hands through my hair, I want to run, move away from her again. What the actual fuck did I just do? We do?

"Fuck. Sorry M..." I can't even say her name. "Fuck!" I hear her sit up next to me, I hear the material of her dress, feel her close and my legs push up, and I stand. Somehow I am standing. "Fuck!"

"Jane..."

"Don't." The trembling I feel in my voice I think I am hiding well, hearing her say my name makes me need her. Fuck. I always need her.

"Jane-"

"Don't say my name!"

"Why? Jane... Why can you not hear me sa-"

"It makes me wet! Ok!? Fuck... every fucking time it makes me want to fuck you and I can't want to fuck my... the best friend I've ever... you can't make me wet and want you like that. I can't be in love-" She hugs me from behind, kissing me... my mind losing its train of thought briefly. "Fuck I can't but I do, ok... Maura... I hate this." I turn in her arms. "Maura... do you have any idea how difficult it was for me to see you with him? Any idea how much of a total dick I felt when... how much of a dick I felt for feeling happy when I figured out he was a killer. I mean sure, there was fear for your life..."

"Thank you for that concern." She kisses me, and then again I am kissing her back, our tongues tangled, gasping, moaning into each other. "Jane..." Fuck. The way she says my name turns me on. So. Fucking. Much.

"Maura, I... It was Hoyt all over again... How utterly scared I was for you, but I knew... I knew I could save you but there was... what if? I couldn't let my mind go there, I can't imagine my life without you." I can't. I think... I think I want her to know what this is to me. I don't wanna be a fuck buddy, I don't want this to be a one time deal. I want her. I want her to want me, only me.

"Oh you are not a dick." She kisses me, almost soothing but all I'm thinking about is wanting to fuck her again, and again, and again. And yeah I do feel like the fucking total dick I am for feeling happiness where I shouldn't find it. But I do. I'm so scared and so happy.

"Being happy that he is a killer and that I can storm in and save the day... that I can save you... being happy over that makes me a dick."

"It makes me happy too."

"Really?"

"If it made you realize that you are in love with me... then yes. Really." In love... yes. Fuck. A Million times yes I am, I wonder how long she's known. Its Maura... she's probably known I've been in love with her longer than I have. "Jane." There she goes already, knowing how to play me, push my buttons... she fucking knows now, fuck she probably already knew the effect she has on me. I kiss her, long, slow, my tongue moving slow in her mouth. Fuck she tastes so good. "Ohhh Jane... Tell me more about what me saying 'Jane' does to you..." She kisses my neck, nibbles and licks me. I run my hands down her curves, whimper into her, she's totally in charge, fuck, I'm happy, I don't care if she reduces me into a whimpering puppy, she feels so fucking good. "Jane..." One of my hands comes back up and cradles her face, my thumb brushes her lips. Soft. "Oh Jane..." My fingers in her mouth as she suckles. I feel her tongue circling my digits, and it makes me shiver on the inside, on the outside, she makes me shiver to my core.

"Oh fuck, I need you to..."

"Jane I need to taste you." She moves her mouth off my fingers, and kisses me. She is so gentle now, compared to how I took her. She eases me back into the couch, the seat hits the back of my legs. She pulls at my trousers and they hit the floor. She giggles and pushes me gently back until I'm sitting. She stands above me, I want her straddling my hips, so I reach out for her hands and she takes them. Her fingers lace with my own, and she kneels. I thought I wanted her straddling my hips, fuck I still do, but I get wetter at the sight of her kneeling, and then pushing my legs apart. I get wet seeing her move closer, running her hands up and down my bare legs. I run my fingers through my hair, then down over my top until she takes my hands in hers again.

She leans into me, kissing up my legs, my hips rise off the couch, she stops her kissing and smiles up at me. I settle back into the couch and she continues her kisses. She lets one of my hands go, and uses her free hand to push aside my panties. I like the feeling, almost naked. Almost. She eases up into me and licks my thighs, kisses them, so fucking softly. I could cum right there with her breath so close to my pussy, without her even, without her even touching me there. But she does. She runs her fingers over my slick wet folds, coating her fingers and then licks them.

"Oh fuck..." I groan watching her suck me off her fingers. Yes, I could cum right now, but instead I feel myself getting wetter, throbbing for her.

"Jane." She raises an eyebrow. Her tone so school mistress. Fuck that's hot. "I do not appreciate-"

"Yeah ya do." I'll make her swear, I'll make her scream profanities one day. She shakes her head, trying to look stern but her face breaks out in the cutest smile when she leans into me and runs her tongue over my pussy. Slow. Delicate. She moans in the back of her throat as she rubs her tongue gently over my clit. I shiver and moan, she moves her head away and smiles up at me. Big. Beaming. Fucking. Smile.

"Jane..." My hips rise at the sound of her voice, and she moves her head back to my pussy, licking, and sucking at my flesh. One hand running up and down my leg. My hips rise and fall of their own accord into her, she moves her hand up to join her mouth, and she presses lightly down, trying to steady me. "I need to feel you Jane." Her hand moves to where her tongue was and she opens me up with her fingers. Fuck this is happening, my head feels light as I watch her. I bite my lip as her eyes connect with mine. She runs her finger lightly inside me, and my hips rise again. I can't do this, all I want is this. "Jane? Can I..." I rise my hips again in response, and she smiles up at me. She lightly bites the side of her lip, until her smile widens too much and I see her shiny teeth, she giggles a little. Is she as nervous as I am?


End file.
